Too free nothing to do, stalked Mr. D blog.
Saw the post he posted for me.
=/
Actually,
I'll feel touched, if someone posted about me. I mean all the posts.
I always think, if I have a boyfriend, and he writes about me, it will be like so romantic. That's why I always feel abit jealous to those couples writing each other into their blogs, status, and stuffs like that.
But when I looked into it now, I was like [ok...] O.o
Things can be so fragile.
June 10 and a week later,
everything inside the post is like 180 degrees turned over.
Maybe if he didn't address me inside that post, I can still think that the post is for someone else. But there's my name and my picture inside and ironically, He and his new GF's couple pic beside. GREAT.
I know I seems kinda like bitchy like this: jealous over my ex's present?
I'm not. I was just feeling the sense of.. untruthfulness maybe? I wonder how can someone change so drastically.
This moment, he can say I hope that I can hold you again. That moment, he's holding other people, and sending the SAME thing that he used to send to me. Seriously?
So if by that moment, I told him let's get back together, then he can dump that girl he's being with now?
Impossible isn't it?
Anyway,
come back to the Rational Nikki
That's just his thinking. Like a moment of thinking. Like the slight moment i thought of that he really changed. Like the slight moment that I thought of maybe being together again is a not-bad idea. Just a slight.
And that's all.
People owned a lot of this kind of slight thinking isn't it?
This bring me a lesson.
Not to be influenced by those SLIGHT mindset.
Liking someone. Being loved by someone.
Both carry the same weight of responsibility in it.
If I pulled over that weight of responsibility, I have to find someone that able to bear the same weight, and together, we have to walk in balance, so that no one will fall terribly.
I'm someone that have no sense of safety at all.
While being in my weakest state, I need something to cover on. I need something to hold on. I need someone beside me.
For those I really care of, I always asked where they go when they left me alone.
I'm afraid of losing someone like them.
I'm afraid of being alone.
That's why, I need to really pick well for my next relationship, so that I can really find someone to cling on, and have the power to hold me tight so that I won't let go.
No more Slight Mindset thingy.
No more put super many effort to earn something trash back thing.
No more saja saja suka ambik saja thing.
So,
If someone really likes me that much that he's willing to carry the same weight of responsibility like I'm carrying and promised that he won't let me fall,
Propose.
=P
This is a must.
No jumping grades in Nikki Sim relationship chart.
Be Aware:
This product might stick like super glue sometimes and need private time sometimes too. XP
Difficult.
Complicated.
Take the challenge if you dare to.
XP
*Bet Mr. D will get quite a mood when he read this. But he won't, after all. So, IGNORE.
Peace OUTO.
Sleepy feeling arrives.
Nitey Night!
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