The Degree Student - Nikki

Yeah.
Nikki Sim is finally a Degree Student. A PR degree student.
Still feel kinda excited to go to class this morning.
But once entered, K.O.

No Aircon - Suan.
Repeated Lessons - OK FINE.
Lecturer with SUCKx English.
I was like =O=lll

How bad is it?
"So that student can fuck us."=O=?!
"Fuck us"
/O\?!
He din meant any vulgar.. it is FOCUS.

"So that you all can Sexist."
HA?!
"Sexist?!"
He din meant any sex,  its success.

Some more, 3 hrs of lecture!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD.
I already fell asleep, fell deep asleep, even a dream...
thn wake up
*half an hour passed... ONLY!*
DIM GAI A!!

The whole class is as noisy as pasar malam + pasar pagi.
But the lecturer jz steady..
DANDING..

Alright, FINE.
Tutorial.
Replacement tutor.
Another DanDing one.
I wonder do every communication lecture get bored from all those theory of communication.
I expect more from an Art lecture, Art class, and Art students!
Did I expect too much?!
I was laughing when he randomly pick a ppl as class rep jz bcz he ask ques the 1st...
Then he says:
"You take drug today?"
I feel like asking him, "You drank black tea today?!"
Group mate somemore..
Aikx..
The one that dominating doesn't come out with any good ideas...
I gotta take over d.
No matter what they say behind me, I gotta work hard for my coursework mark. If not, die hard for sure!

Degree Nikki, Gambateh neh!!!
Fight Degree, Change it!!!!
Wake the Art students out!!!

*Feel so degree-student when I saw familiar degree faces during and after class ^^*

暗恋

最近喜欢上暗恋的感觉。
以前真的很不喜欢，
这种偷偷摸摸，想在一起却没勇气没机会的行为。
认为喜欢就得去争取，去努力。
认为努力就一定会有想要的成果。
认为幸福，一定会在努力的人手里。
×冷笑×
错了。

我不会说喜欢不一定要拥有这笨句。
喜欢，当然希望拥有啊。
可是，
拥有到才行的。。
已经清楚了解，
只要自己很喜欢很喜欢的人，
都没办法拥有，甚至喜欢。
争取，只让我连喜欢都不能，
又何必咧～

别把我的文字看得太灰。
我很彩的。
最近的生活，我觉得不错呀。
跟一班能混的人混在一起，做能混的东西。
热闹扰扰嚷嚷整天后，骑着我的马，到他家前面，
看看那左边第一个窗口【是最近才发现之前看错窗的】
亮灯开窗，就代表他在房里。
亮灯没开窗/关灯，就代表他出去了。
关灯几天，就代表他又离我远了几十公里。
还要配合看看楼下，有没有哪熟悉的脚踏车。
如果没有，他又出去了。
过后，回家时，经过他常去的Mamak, 或快餐店，就会狂瞄那脚车的踪影。
很笨吧？
还是有stalker的感觉？
可是，
只要这样就够了。

知道他在哪里，就能凭幻想，知道他近况。
知道他在附近，就能凭直觉，去制造偶遇。
知道他在家里，就能安心的回家睡觉，期盼再次在梦里遇见他。

只要这样就足够了。。
暂时就让他暂居我的心吧
反正房间空着是空着。
租金【感情】他也不会给的，没关系吧。
在还没找到真正想买下这间房间的房客前，让他住着吧！避免生尘=P

在很想对他好的时候，把感觉分散转移在别人身上，这样自己就不会太压抑，生活也过得快乐些。
不会胡乱EMO，
不会胡乱制造麻烦，
不会乱想乱猜乱作任何事。
习惯了这样的寂寞，习惯了这样的生活，
就不会学会依赖，就能学会坚强。
就不会乱放深感情，伤害别人了。

铁下心，
享受暗恋，
放空一阵子，
再寻找我的七年长跑吧=）

我爱你！

沈君咛。

Distance

Someone told me before.. It's not the physical distance that matters, it's the distance between the hearts.
Yea.
Sometimes I agree with that too.
But when the hearts already get so far until it can't see each other, the reduce between physical distance helps.

Knowing HIM is nearer again, feel quite good to me.
At least I know that he's nearer to me again,
knowing that I can meet him accidentally if I wander around his place,
knowing that I am seeing the same piece of sky with him,
knowing that I can peek along to the window when I pass his place,
knowing that at least I know he's around.

I told everyone I don't care anymore.
I told everyone I don't want him again
But I just can't find ways to stop stalking at his profile,
peeking at the window,
heart bumping when heard his name,
but yet pretend nth happens.

I'm not that crazy about him any more.
I'm not that INTO him any more.
But I just not too over him.

But I won't.
I won't try to get back the distanced heart.
Just by knowing he's around,
that's enough for me.

No more expectation, as I won't meet him again.
No more think-too-much, as there are nothing to think of.
Fact is fact,
I'm not the PROSPECT,
I'm not the GIRL,
I'm not HIS.
that's why,
PEACE OUTO.
=P

Love ya, Nikki Sim.

T.H.I.N.K

I don't like to think too much.
I mean, why make me think those I don't want to think?
When I don't want to, means that those are not relevant to me, then what for you keep on forcing me to understand?

I believe that everyone  has a circle when it comes to relationships or jobs. At least I have one.
If the matter is within my circle, there is no need for you to remind me about that, I'll already revise it twice. If the matter is beyond of circle, give me a good reason why I should waste my brain juice which I can actually do something better with it?

I don't get it.
Why those so-called mature people always like that?
They will always put out the line: "You don't understand. You just never been through it. When you go through you know."
I was like /O\.
So you think you so-call been through it?
You were me before?
After?
Now?
NO!
You're just the freaking you, and I'm the ME. not YOU.
Boss, look carefully.
Not every path of life is the same.
Not every so-called lesson will be strike on everyone.
So if I really met with the problem, I'll settle it MYself.
And I myself will GO THROUGH the DAMN thing without your SUPER USEFUL ADVICE.
Since you don't walk my route, then stop being the GPS of my life.

Another line I hate is :"I feel very disappointed on you. You let me down. I give up on you."
So you think I should mind on it?
So you are the one that actually mould me up to become a low-class plasticine toy and you are disappointed and want to give me up?
NO!
You are just someone pass by and expect to see what you want to see in me and found out that you didn't!
And you say give up on me duh?
I beg your pardon.
Revise your sentence.
I'm not a doll, I'm not a hand-craft, and I definitely not made by you.
So stop giving up on me as I'm not even yours BUD!
I, walk my OWN life, using my OWN way, and picking up MYSELF. So give up yourself before you want to mind other business.

When it comes to things like, I don't know this will happen. I didn't mean that. It just because of people snuggling in and doing things out of my control.
What I can say is, You start the game, just that people press the start button for you, there's no reason you quit the game because you are not ready. You start it first, and you bear the risk of playing it. Stop blaming the poor one that press the start button of the game. The game will not even be started if you don't take it out. So awake dude, Stop blaming when things are out of your control, as it is your control that push them out.

Stop telling me I'm young. You just born earlier than me and I know I won't grow old as fast as you are. But make your old mind clear that my mind will not be as shallow as YOu are so stop judging me by looking to my younger and merrier age, old brainiac!

This post will be so WRONG for some people and some may even think what an "immature" act to write this, but what I'm gonna say is, This is MY blog, MY account and MY freedom. Don't like, just click the x over the right top corner and get yourself a nice cosy sleep thinking how "brilliant" yourself are in the dream.

PEACE OUTO.

撑

昨天我体验了什么叫自己跌倒，自己爬起来。
我永远都不会忘记那种感觉。
一个人坐在路旁
没办法叫救命，只能一直在按车门开关来引人注意，
可是，
不懂是我的车不够响，还是UTAR学生冷漠无情，【我觉得是后者】
竟然没有人留意到一个瘫痪在路旁，没办法站起来的女孩。
有几辆摩托和汽车飞速经过，
可是，
没有。
他们没有为我停下来。
当时的我，
他妈的可悲。
怎样撑也撑不起自己的可悲。
我。
法克。
发现求救是那么的没用时候，
我忍。
努力的用手撑起我自己
马路，对，
砂石让我的手花完了
可是
比起可悲，当时在我心上的，是他妈的怒气。
生气自己，
存在感低，
没有能力，
身体差！
可是我知道，我的意志力不能差！
当全世界都不理我的时候，只有我自己可以理我自己
自己跌倒，自己就要撑起自己爬起来！
不需要了
不再依赖人了
我可以撑起我周围的人和事，
同时我也可以撑起我自己
不需要再依赖任何人，
不需要再半夜找人充电，
不需要再懦弱的要求别人的青睐。
不用！
够了
我受够了自己的软弱，
自己的无能
我要训练自己
成为一个不再需要拥抱，不再需要肩膀，
自己撑起自己的人！
等着瞧吧！
×撑起自己的那一刻，我撑起了防护罩。不要了。不要再让任何人进来了。×